Repeated Sin

Genesis 20:1-3 -  From there Abraham journeyed toward the territory of the Negeb, and dwelt between Kadesh and Shur; and he sojourned in Gerar.  And Abraham said of Sarah his wife, "She is my sister." And Abim'elech king of Gerar sent and took Sarah.  But God came to Abim'elech in a dream by night, and said to him, "Behold, you are a dead man, because of the woman whom you have taken; for she is a man's wife." 

Abraham felt for some reason we are not told that he needed to move again.  Perhaps it was needed because the air was toxic and endangered his huge herds. Perhaps the sadness of not knowing that Lot was safe…that he might have been destroyed in the burning town he eyed from Mamre….perhaps that drove him to leave the land that God had given him and seek a place that would not remind him of Lot. Perhaps God told him to move once more. But for whatever reason…Abraham finds himself in territory that had the reputation for evil…and felt the same fear as he had before…and tells the same lie. He uses the same ‘half truth’ as he did before to try and protect himself…his family…and the many possessions he traveled there with.

Repeated sin…I am guilty…and I find no comfort in knowing that many people around me are guilty too. It did not take me long to narrow the many sins I have repeated to the one that God needs me to work on…it is the same as Abraham’s. I too have a problem with stretching the truth. Sometimes I too am driven to embellish the truth with extra details that make me seem more intelligent…..or perhaps more similar to the people I am with. I think as I write that I have always given the truth in my writings…but there could be one I don’t recall. Oh how hard it is to admit to the world that I have lied….for any reason…for my mind floods with scripture that I have read and felt strong pangs of guilt…because they tell me just how much God hates this sin…and now I will worry that I have just opened a huge trust issue for most of you that read my writings.

Since I am not a scholar of the Bible yet…I am not sure where these scriptures are… and I thank God for ‘the google’ as I quickly look up the references.  My first search revealed over 15 verses that directly tell us not to lie…from Leviticus 19:11…which flat out says not to lie…to Proverbs !7:20…which says that we set ourselves up for trouble when we lie…to Matthew 12:17…WHICH I WILL QUOTE, “For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.  Abraham knew that lying was detestable to God…so why? I know that lying is wrong…so why the repeated sin…why is it so hard to change this behavior.

I think in my spirit that one of the reasons is fear…the old fear that Abraham felt as he traveled to Egypt resurfaced here in Gerar. The half truth he told had not really worked…but it had kept him alive….so Satan pushed that memory close enough to him for him to grasp it once again. It was a half truth…perhaps he did not see the sin yet…I do not see that God specifically told him in any of the stories that he was to stop lying…the two kings are given that task. And this time…it works for him….God protected Sarah….and the baby she was to have…and God uses it to bless Abraham once again to live anywhere he wants in the King’s territory.  Perhaps we are just too quick to justify …to lie to ourselves…and tell our mind that God has not told us to quit.

Father…thank you for the mercy you have shown me…mercy that I don’t deserve..because I have repeated a sin that I know to be wrong. I thank you God that you are patient and forgiving …and you show me mercy….and you just keep giving me lessons till I get it. Thank you God that you even bless me in spite of the sins I repeat.  Help me father to look upward…and find a new strength to see your will and use that strength that you give to break free of this horrible habit. Help me to walk in your truth and let my honesty cleanse me…and wash me clean of the many times I have lied not just to others…but to myself. Thank  you for the knowledge that I have sinned…and the opportunity to ask your forgiveness..and the sweet peace I feel that you will help me be a new person. Amen.