Do You Believe Your Own Lies?

1 Samuel 15:19-23 -  Why did you not obey the LORD? Why did you pounce on the plunder and do evil in the eyes of the LORD?"  "But I did obey the LORD," Saul said. "I went on the mission the LORD assigned me. I completely destroyed the Amalekites and brought back Agag their king.  The soldiers took sheep and cattle from the plunder, the best of what was devoted to God, in order to sacrifice them to the LORD your God at Gilgal."  But Samuel replied: "Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.  For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he has rejected you as king."

 

Saul had been told to destroy an evil people from the land God had given the Israelites. Nothing was to be left…women …children...babies…men…animals…they were all to be completely destroyed.  Even though it sounds way harsh to us today…it must have been easily accepted by Saul…for he had no problem killing all the people.  But the king was taken alive and stronger animals were spared…bringing great sadness to God…who had trusted him to obey his command.

 

And if the disobedience was not enough….Saul lied right to Samuel’s face when he came to camp later that day. He even justified his lie with another lie to cover his sin. Saul covered up his own sin so much that he began to believe his own lie. Samuel did not believe that he had killed everything…for he heard the proof as the animals around the camp bleated and mooed.   And Samuel did not falter as he rebuked Saul with the words of God….and told him straight up that his disobedience had made God extra sad.  The sacrifices he defended his lies with meant nothing in the light of his disobedience.

 

Samuel had spent his whole life studying the words of God….and knew the scriptures in Deuteronomy 4:1-2 that say….” Now, Israel, hear the decrees and laws I am about to teach you. Follow them so that you may live and may go in and take possession of the land the Lord, the God of your ancestors, is giving you.  Do not add to what I command you and do not subtract from it, but keep the commands of the Lord your God that I give you.”  He knew that Saul had no right to ‘invent’ a reason for disobeying God and saving those animals…even if it was for sacrifices…which by the way was just another one of those cover up lies.

 

I could tell you story after story of how I covered one lie with another to try and hide the truth. And I am guessing that I am not the only one guilty of using this tactic in their lifetime. For me...the truth became so clouded... that I truly believed the lie I told….totally tricked by satan to keep deceiving others and myself…instead of asking God to wash me clean of my sin. Just like Saul…I just kept telling the story so many times I believed it was the truth. I never thought about how sad I was making God with my little white lies…how hurt he must have been every time I retold the lie to justify it to my own heart.

 

Truth is…I just didn’t love God with my whole heart back then.  I never understood what it meant in Deuteronomy 10:12-13…where it says …. “ And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul  and to observe the Lord’s commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good?”  And I am just touching the surface of what that means today…now that I have committed my heart to spend time with his Bible every day. It isn’t any easier to tell the truth all the time…but it is way cool… the feeling of peace that washes over me… when I let God help me be strong enough to come clean with the honesty God commanded.

 

Father...I thank you for the reminder today that I must walk in honesty with you at all times. Help me to soak up more and more of your words into my heart…so they can help me make the right choices each moment I am faced with a temptation to lie…..to cover up my sins. Show me how to fall deeper and deeper in love with you…and revere you …and obey you each time you give me a task to do. Help me to understand what it means to love you with my whole heart…soul…and mind.  Amen.