Hesitation Causes Scars

Song Of Solomon 5:2-4 -  I slept but my heart was awake. Listen! My lover is knocking: "Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one. My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night."  I have taken off my robe-- must I put it on again? I have washed my feet-- must I soil them again?  My lover thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him

 

Solomon continues his poem of love by describing the hesitation his lover had when he came to visit one night.  She had already fallen asleep and was hesitant to get up at first.  But as she hesitated…her heart leapt so hard inside her chest ….she could not stop herself from opening the door.

 

 

The sad thing is….she waited too long.  He was gone when she finally went to let him in.  She had to go searching for him…in the dangerous streets….in the middle of the night.  The poem says she was even hurt by the city guards in the end.

 

It occurred to me…since my single brain has trouble relating to this scenario in a relationship sort of way…that I could apply her hesitant attitude to the way we are with God sometimes. He knocks at the door to our heart all the time. Sometimes we are so focused on our own desires and worries that we don’t hear him at all. Sometimes we hear him plainly…but talk ourselves into ignoring him.  Sometimes we even convince ourselves it isn’t God at all.

 

Maybe that’s one reason God allows us to be wounded so many times in life. The scars from these wounds are the natural consequences of the times we hesitated or ignored his voice. He knew our stubborn heart needed the hard lesson he allowed to teach us what he was going to whisper gently in our ear when he knocked gently on our heart.

 

Father…thank you for the reminder that I should always be ready to listen for you to knock at my heart’s door.  Help me to know the sound of your knock so well that I never ignore it.  Help me to never be afraid to answer your knock…so you can tell me what you need too…and prevent any new scars because I let my stubborn flesh hesitate too long.  Amen.