Numbers 22:32-33 - The
angel of the Lord asked him, “Why have you beaten your donkey these
three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one
before me. The donkey saw me and turned away from me
these three times. If it had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you
by now, but I would have spared it.”
We don’t know much about this man Balaam…except that he had
a relationship with God that allowed him to converse with him at will...and he
had a reputation for blessings and curses that brought messengers from Balek…asking
for him to curse the Israelites. It would have brought Balaam more wealth than
he had ever dreamed of having in his life.
It is also a confusing story…for God had told Balaam once
never to go with these men…but the second time he asked God…he told him it was
okay to go...just to make sure that he spoke only what God said to speak. BUT…that
very day…God got so angry at him for going he set an angel in his path…ready to
turn him back. His donkey saw the angel and tried to protect him…only to be beaten.
Then …in one of the most strange miracles of the Bible…the donkey speaks…and
Balaam’s eyes are finally open to the angel….who lets him go past with yet
another warning to speak only what God tells him.
God had said no…that should have been it. We are not given the details of Balaam’s
conversation the second time these men came offering him so much wealth…only
that God told him it was okay to go. Perhaps my confusion...and the reason for
God’s anger was that he knew deep down Balaam wanted to go. Perhaps he really
did not understand the hugeness of his choice to go with these messengers…or
the dangers of letting his heart be swayed by all that material wealth. I am
sure that he did not realize it would cost him his life in the end…I peeked at
Joshua…or be used so many times in the Bible as a reference of what not to do
later. Read 2 Peter 2…Numbers 31 and Revelation 2.
As I took notes on what I was reading last night…I wrote in
the margin…God wanted him not to want to go. Jeremiah 10:9-10 says it clearly… "The
heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can
understand it? "I, the
LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give to each man according to
his ways, According to the results of his deeds. God
knows what we are thinking….in the deepest parts of our heart.” God knows when we are just doing what we have
to. He wants the total sell out…the
whole of our being…so he can control all those fleshy desires that get us in
trouble like they did Balaam.
Father…thank you for the reminder that you want all of my
heart. Forgive me for the pieces of my heart
that I have knowingly or unknowingly withheld from you. Show me how to let go of any pieces that keep
you from controlling my whole being…so that you can help me love and think like
your son…who following your will….gave his very life ...even though he had
asked that the cup of death be taken from him.
Amen.
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