Guilt

Genesis 42: 19-24 -  if you are honest men, let one of your brothers remain confined in your prison, and let the rest go and carry grain for the famine of your households,  and bring your youngest brother to me; so your words will be verified, and you shall not die." And they did so.  Then they said to one another, "In truth we are guilty concerning our brother, in that we saw the distress of his soul, when he besought us and we would not listen; therefore is this distress come upon us."  And Reuben answered them, "Did I not tell you not to sin against the lad? But you would not listen. So now there comes a reckoning for his blood."  They did not know that Joseph understood them, for there was an interpreter between them.  Then he turned away from them and wept; and he returned to them and spoke to them. And he took Simeon from them and bound him before their eyes.

The famine was everywhere…so Jacob sent 10 of Joseph’s brothers to buy grain. They don’t recognize Joseph…as he must have changed some in appearance as he grew from 17 to almost 40 years of age. He would also have been dressed like an Egyptian…maybe even have shaved all the remnants of his Hebrew hair and donned the typical black wig of the high office he held. He even spoke Egyptian and let a Hebrew interpreter translate for him. But Joseph knew his brothers instantly….as soon as they came into his presence and bowed low before him….and he remembered his dreams.

Joseph doesn’t tell them I told you so….but he does speak to them harshly…and accuse them of being spies. He listens in on the conversation they have…..a tender moment of recollection of the evil they did….and the knowledge that God is allowing this moment to punish them for being so mean to their brother.  Joseph is so touched and moved by this guilt that they share that he goes somewhere private to regain his composure….for it brings the first tears of pain we ever see recorded of this strong man of faith.   Joseph must have prayed in that moment too…and ask God how to melt their hearts…and turn this guilt into repentance….and so he throws them all in prison for 3 days.

Joseph releases them…but tells them that to prove their honesty…and ever buy more grain….they must return with the youngest brother they spoke of…..and he keeps Simon in prison as security that they would return. Joseph knew that there is a difference in feeling guilt over something wrong that you did…and repenting and asking forgiveness….so he allows God to help him weld a plan to melt the hearts of these 10 brothers who had strayed so far away from god’s plan for their lives. God sure can’t use them to build the nation of Israel as they are!

I can just see the guilt and pain building in these brothers as they travel the many miles back to their father.  They find the money they paid for the grain they carry in a one of the sacks they open to feed the donkeys…and deep fear mixed with the guilt of their past begins to melt their hearts. The evil must be very deep…for even the loss of Simon doesn’t break their spirit. They decide to tell their father most of the truth….but they don’t tell Jacob what they did to Joseph yet.  A clear sign that God hasn’t melted all the evil out of their heart yet.

It is so amazing to me how God never stops working on us….when he know that we still love him….no matter what we have done to stray away…he will do what it takes to get our attention.  He will put us in prison…he will remove from us a loved one….he will even use the people we hurt with our sin to help him get through to our hard cold hearts that have spent way too much time close to the worlds evil. 

Father….help me to search my heart for any remnant of sin I harbor. Help me to remember…like Joseph’s brothers anything  I have done that was wrong…and feel the guilt that will bring me to repentance.  Work on the parts of my heart that are not fully yours yet….help me to search deep within my soul to find the sin that holds me back from serving you in full measure. Thank you God for loving me so much that you always chase after me and never give up on restoring me to a right relationship with you. Amen.