Confidence

Genesis 41: 16, 25 and 32-33   -  Joseph answered Pharaoh, "It is not in me; God will give Pharaoh a favorable answer." …..  Then Joseph said to Pharaoh, "The dream of Pharaoh is one; God has revealed to Pharaoh what he is about to do. ……   “And the doubling of Pharaoh's dream means that the thing is fixed by God, and God will shortly bring it to pass.  Now therefore let Pharaoh select a man discreet and wise, and set him over the land of Egypt.”

It is so amazing to me how God works sometimes. The Pharaoh had two dreams….in one night…and they ‘troubled his spirit’ ….so much so that he sought his magicians’ help. The meaning was hidden from these men who used Satan’s power….so that the butler could finally remember who helped him understand his dream….and Joseph is not just pulled out of the dungeon…but given a bath and new clothes before he is placed in front of the great king.

I love his words to Pharaoh before he tells what God has revealed to him. Joseph in his humbleness….seizes an opportunity to give God all the credit for his gifting and says, “It is not me, God will give Pharaoh a favorable answer.” And he proceeds to tell Pharaoh about the next 14 years…making sure that he told him that the two dreams of the same content meant they were soon to take place.  And Joseph doesn’t stop with the meaning of the dreams…he pours out to Pharaoh the vision of storing the grain grown in the 7 years of plenty…..so that no one would starve during the 7 years of horrible famine.

It is Joseph’s strong faith that has brought him to this moment…Joseph’s personal relationship with God that has revealed these dreams to him….and as he allows God to speak through him ….Pharaoh sees the benefit of having a man that worships and holds on to Yahweh for his strength in charge of such a huge task. The organization of all that Joseph outlined would need the blessing of something greater than Pharaoh had ever worshiped….and so God orchestrates the promotion that places Joseph…second in power to Pharaoh….the great King of Egypt.

One of the commentaries I studied triggered one other thought. Joseph started out as a lowly shepherd boy…and as he went through the storms that trained him for this huge job with Pharaoh…he put his heart and soul in God…who gave him success in every small task he was given.  Each season of his storm…each moment of his slavery in Egypt…he was trusted with a job…and he did them well. The commentaries reminded me of Luke 16:10…which says, “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.  Joseph was trusted with little…and God blessed him with more and more…until the day he was ready to be trusted with much!

I am confident this morning that God is training me through my own storm…it was pretty rough there for a while….I know I complained my way through the last job I was given….made many mistakes…failing miserably to be who God needed me to be.. But like the butler in this story was restored to try once again to serve Pharaoh….I was restored through his goodness and mercy to try once again to get it right.  And the amazing thing is…. how life is good right now.  I am waking to a great schedule every day….and I love my job once again.  I bubble over with joy in what I do…and hope that I can stay in this good place a long time.

Father…words just can’t describe how much I love you…and how thankful I am for what you have done in my life these past three years. I thank you for the storms that not only gave me intense pain….but I thank you for the intense joy that you intermingled with it. Give me a strength and faith like Joseph…to be confident in the gifts you have given me…and always give you the glory for every blessing you have rained down on me in my 53 years of life. Give me Joseph’s ability to see the positive in every task that you assign to me...and help me to stop many times a day to thank you….and worship you…and praise you. Thank you for the mercy and grace that allows me so many second chances…thank you for the saving blood that washes me clean anytime I admit my sins to you and ask for your forgiveness. Amen.

Replacing Bitterness with Faith

Genesis 40:6-9 -  When Joseph came to them in the morning and saw them, they were troubled.  So he asked Pharaoh's officers who were with him in custody in his master's house, "Why are your faces downcast today?"  They said to him, "We have had dreams, and there is no one to interpret them." And Joseph said to them, "Do not interpretations belong to God? Tell them to me, I pray you."  So the chief butler told his dream to Joseph, and said to him, "In my dream there was a vine before me, 

Typical Joseph…making the best of his confinement….always looking for way to help others….giving God the glory for all his talents and gifts.  Joseph sees the two prisoners he has been charged to take care of sad…and downcast.  They had probably let their imprisonment slowly wear on their soul and body..and let fear and sadness overcome them. The dreams must have further upset them…and they had no one to interpret them and help them understand their meanings.

Joseph doesn’t berate them or judge them…he uses this moment for God…sees it as an opportunity to witness…to show what God could do through him. He allows God to give him the meaning of two very different dreams…one very hopeful….and one completely morose and disturbing. Joseph showed compassion on these two prisoners….and shares the great news of freedom to one….but does not hide the horrible future of the other’s death sentence. He gives the meaning as God gives it…not hiding a bit of the sadness or joy.

Joseph also seizes a moment to request a favor from the one who was going to be restored. And as he requests the butler to remember him when he is freed in three days…his true character is revealed in his reflection upon his own imprisonment.  He simply states in verse 15, “For I was indeed stolen out of the land of the Hebrews; and here also I have done nothing that they should put me into the dungeon.” How amazing that he does not list all the wrongs and injustices of his life…instead this simple statement of where he finds himself now…and the confidence that he is guilty of no wrongs to deserve it.

God is using this example of Joseph to teach me this morning….that I need to be more careful when I reflect on my own hurts in life.  And as I think back to the times when I have berated the ex….or verbalized other hurts to others….it did not make me feel any better to place blame on anyone else. Things happen that are not always explained by the hatred of others…or the lack of love after years of marriage….and God allowed these pains and hurts in my life for a purpose. Maybe I don’t see the reason right now….but I know in my heart that he has plans for me…a purpose….plans to prosper me and use me just like he used Joseph. I must somehow learn to let go of the bitterness…and embrace God….so that I can serve him more fully.

Father…thank you for your wonderful love that can bring strength and deep faith…even after the worst storms in life. I thank  you that you are teaching me to let go of the pain and bitterness of the past through the story of this great man Joseph.  I ask that you help me erase all those statements I used to  use to describe my divorce…..and replace them with a more simple statement of faith…that will show your strength in my new found faith in you.  Place in my mouth good words that contain only the truth that you would have me reveal to others that you place in my care and charge. Amen.

God's Blessings Despite Hardship

Genesis 39:1-5 Now Joseph was taken down to Egypt, and Pot'i-phar, an officer of Pharaoh, the captain of the guard, an Egyptian, bought him from the Ish'maelites who had brought him down there.  The LORD was with Joseph, and he became a successful man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian, and his master saw that the LORD was with him, and that the LORD caused all that he did to prosper in his hands.  So Joseph found favor in his sight and attended him, and he made him overseer of his house and put him in charge of all that he had.  From the time that he made him overseer in his house and over all that he had the LORD blessed the Egyptian's house for Joseph's sake; the blessing of the LORD was upon all that he had, in house and field. 

Joseph is such a model of perseverance and obedience for me. He faces unfair situation after unfair situation with a resolve to serve God with every ounce of his pride that he is allowed to keep.  So what he was thrown in a well…sold into slavery….wrongfully accused of rape…he holds tightly to God’s hand and is blessed through every bad situation. And God doesn’t just bless Joseph…he blesses the household and person he is so faithful too. Joseph never even considers having a pity party…he just serves each man that is put in charge of him as if he were God too.

Joseph modeled for the pagans he served a mighty faith that spoke more than mere words could ever express.  His faith touched the hearts and lives of every person he was around…drawing the goodness of God from Joseph’s heart into every place his feet touched. His obedience…and faith…and resolve to be God’s vessel no matter where he found himself…brought blessings and favor to his life and every life that he served. Not once do we read that he asked God why me? Not once do we hear him cry out in disbelief that he would suffer a new hardship in life.  He accepted every path God allowed him to walk with dignity and a determination to find a way to serve God anyway. Too bad we can’t just bottle a little of that great attitude up and

This story hits me right smack in the face this morning….for I am the ultimate whiner. Satan is calling up in my head every time I laid right down and screamed how unfair my life was. But God is bringing to my mind ….how he drew me very close to him…and helped me through some of those situations…and I can see how the pain has taught me something…how God used it for the good of more than just my life…I think I understand and can be even more like Joseph in the future.  Oh how the reflection back on the painful….seemingly unfair seasons of my life…show how much God has truly blessed me.

Father…I thank  you so much for all the times that you have used the pain in my life to teach me.  Help me to always stop when things get tough again…and seek you…and hold your hand….and let you teach me how to overcome the pain of that moment.  Use me Lord to be a great vessel…like Joseph…let my life be an example of your love and goodness.  Give me the strength and power to walk away from temptation and honor you with the right choice…even if the world tries to slander and falsely accuse me. Show me how to hold on to your hand…and be blessed in everything….and so bless the others around me. Amen

God is Sovereign

Genesis 38: 26-30  -  Then Judah acknowledged them and said, "She is more righteous than I, inasmuch as I did not give her to my son Shelah." And he did not lie with her again.  When the time of her delivery came, there were twins in her womb. And when she was in labor, one put out a hand; and the midwife took and bound on his hand a scarlet thread, saying, "This came out first."  But as he drew back his hand, behold, his brother came out; and she said, "What a breach you have made for yourself!" Therefore his name was called Perez. Afterward his brother came out with the scarlet thread upon his hand; and his name was called Zerah.

What an absolute mess! Judah leaves the land of his father to marry a Cannanite woman …has three sons…one of which marries a woman named Tamar. Her husband Er is so evil that God takes him out of the world himself. Then Judah tells the next oldest to take her as his wife and bear the oldest son children….and he spills his seed on the ground.  This is so detestable to God that he dies too. But Judah must not have seen the evil in his sons…for he thinks that Tamar is bad luck…and is afraid to give her his last son. And as time passes and  Tamar sees that Judah has lied to her too….her desperation to conceive a son leads hers to trick Judah into thinking she is a temple prostitute…and his seed produces twins…one  of  which is named Perez.

The ironic thing about this whole mess is that God uses it….he uses this son of Jacob…Judah…this evil one who has sold his brother…this untrusting one who lied to Tamar….this one who was driven by lust.  God uses Judah and Tamar to continue his promise to Abram…to Isaac…to Jacob.   God uses this family that seems to have written the next episode of a modern day soap opera…to continue the promise.  God uses a child born of incest and lust to prove that his mercy and grace is given to all ….despite man’s resistance...despite man’s sins.

God is sovereign…God will rework any mess and turn it into a message of hope.  It is no accident that the story of Joseph….an extraordinary man of faith and strength…is interrupted by this mess of a brother Judah’s family history. There must have been something hidden deep inside this man who seemingly followed his selfishness instead of God’s will. For God saw fit to have Moses carefully record every detail of his sins….to prove to us that no matter how bad we mess up…God is still in control….and can use it somehow to his glory….just as God uses this child Perez to continue the blood line of Abram… till Mary conceives of the Holy Spirit and give the world the promised Messiah.

Father…I thank you for your sovereignty…that despite my selfishness nature…despite the many sins I have committed…that you are in control and rule in my life. I thank you that you have placed your seal upon me as your child…and nothing happens to me without your permission.  Help me to place each mistake I have made in the past…and leave it there.  Help me to hold on to your sweet love and mercy and grace…and search for how you have used my mistakes to help me become a better person. Don’t allow Satan to bring these sins back into remembrance….but help me to embrace the forgiveness you gave me …and seek your will for the future. Amen.

No Pity Allowed!

Genesis 37:23-28 -  So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe, the long robe with sleeves that he wore;  and they took him and cast him into a pit. The pit was empty, there was no water in it.  Then they sat down to eat; and looking up they saw a caravan of Ish'maelites coming from Gilead, with their camels bearing gum, balm, and myrrh, on their way to carry it down to Egypt.  Then Judah said to his brothers, "What profit is it if we slay our brother and conceal his blood?  Come, let us sell him to the Ish'maelites, and let not our hand be upon him, for he is our brother, our own flesh." And his brothers heeded him. Then Mid'ianite traders passed by; and they drew Joseph up and lifted him out of the pit, and sold him to the Ish'maelites for twenty shekels of silver; and they took Joseph to Egypt. 

Poor unfortunate Joseph…mistreated by his brothers…thrown in a well..and sold into slavery. If not for the small spark of human kindness from his brothers Reuben and Judah…Joseph would have died in that well. God used these two brothers to save Joseph…and a caravan of Ishmaelites….to transport Joseph to Egypt….where he could train him….and use him later to show God’s great power.  God had his hand on this young lad from the very night he had his first dream…and placed Joseph exactly where he needed to be to fulfill a great plan to save many people…and show the pagan people of Eygpt…the mighty power of God.

We can all identify with poor Joseph…pity him…feel sorry for him…call his brothers all kinds of ugly names for being so callous and unloving… for being so prideful and selfish. That is just Satan..trying to confuse you. Satan at this moment …is calling up all the times I was mistreated in life…he is trying to get a huge pity party going in my mind as I write.  God even allowed Satan to get me to set my alarm this morning a little late…so that he could block my insights from God…but I sat here…a little worried that I might be late for work…but determined to wait and listen for what God needed me to hear this morning. And he showed up as usual…and kicked ole Satan out of his way.

God’s plan to save us doesn’t mean that we won’t ever suffer. Joseph must have felt so alone and misunderstood as he laid in the bottom of that well….and probably walked the many miles to Eygpt in chains.  And Joseph is not the only one who suffers from this larger plan to save the people during a famine that will come later.  Jacob is walking in God’s will now…but he once again suffers the sadness of loss…poor Jacob suffers terribly as he is deceived into thinking his favorite son is dead. Oh how he mourned and cried for him.

God made Joseph and Jacob wait ….it will be some time before God’s entire plan unfolds…and he has Joseph trained to do the task he brought him to do. That dream he had as a boy will become a reality..after God has all the pieces in place to show his greatest power…to the most people.  God time is not our time…and pain is sometimes allowed in our lives to mold us into more loving compassionate people…full of empathy…..stronger vessels for the tasks God gives us to do.

Father…I thank you for the moments in my own life that caused me pain.  Take my feelings of pity and turn them into feelings of strength and dependence on you. Help me to wait on you to show your glorious plan for me.  Help me to embrace the timeline you have set…and be more patient…and anticipate the lessons you need to train me with to do the job you sent me here to do.  Keep me strong….and help me to recognize when Satan is trying to pull me away from you…and kick him out of the way …like you did this morning. Amen.

Names are Important!

Genesis 36:1-5 - These are the descendants of Esau (that is, Edom).  Esau took his wives from the Canaanites: Adah the daughter of Elon the Hittite, Oholiba'mah the daughter of Anah the son of Zib'eon the Hivite, and Bas'emath, Ish'mael's daughter, the sister of Neba'ioth.  And Adah bore to Esau, El'iphaz; Bas'emath bore Reu'el;  and Oholiba'mah bore Je'ush, Jalam, and Korah. These are the sons of Esau who were born to him in the land of Canaan. 

God told Rebekah that Esau would become a great nation.  And so we see God keep his promise to Rebekah…even though she did not live to see all these children. And thinking back…maybe she wouldn’t have cared anyway..since Jacob was her favorite from their birth.  Nevertheless…Esau’s descendants become a powerful nation that we read about many times again in the bible. It may seem boring and inconsequential reading …but God had Moses record this genealogy for a reason….maybe even three reasons.

God values every life…and even though he knew that Esau’s heart was never going to fully embrace God…he allows him to become the father of Edom….and God had Moses record every child and grandchild in this chapter. He had Moses record the names of each wife…child…and grandchild of the nation that Esau fathered…and where they were born. You even find a condensed list in 1 Chronicles 1…because God really wants us to know that he thinks we all have value…we all have hope…we all have the choice to follow him or choose the world.

This seemingly long genealogy is also important because it helps to maintain the historical integrity of the bible as a whole. We may never learn to pronounce all those names….or who was Teman’s grandmother. In actuality we tend to skip over these long lists of names…thinking that they just don’t have a meaning to us. But if we know that Amalek was Esua’s descendent…his attitude toward the peole of Israel start to make since….the hatred must have built for years when Esau split to make his own way in the mountains of Seir. And other lists later in this great book will connect Jesus to Abram…fulfilling the many prophecies that predicted the Messiah.

One other thing that you might think about as you skim over those long genealogies that are coming up later.  You might miss some tidbits of information that are only mentioned one time in the bible. I would love to know more about Anah…in verse 24…who discovered a hot spring of water in a wilderness land. I bet he had some stories to tell when he brought those donkeys home…and became a popular man because of his discovery.  You might have missed that Esau left for the mountains of Seir in verses 7-8…because the land could not support the cattle of both brothers. Who knows…maybe this was the start of another time of bitterness against his brother.

I sat in a funeral home with strangers yesterday.  I had to go meet my facebook friend …whose sister passed away this week. The lady who passed away…at a much earlier age than her family thought was appropriate….shared my name. I thought maybe we were connected in some way by marriage…distant cousins perhaps. So I watched as a small family said their goodbyes to a 42 year old mother….sister…foster mom…and daughter. I chatted with strangers to find that she had a very sweet spirit….one that loved everyone and took in sweet foster children that will miss her terribly….but we had no family connections…except that her name was connected to God’s genealogy…her name written in the lamb’s book of life…and so she was reunited with her maker.  I am sure her name will be remembered for many years…and become a part of a family genealogy….one that will carry on her sweet nature and need to help others.

Father…I thank you for this chapter of names.  I thank you that you value who I am and where I came from. I thank you that you took me in and wrote my name in the lamb’s book…so I too will be able to sit at your feet someday. I pray that you send this sweet family some extra angels…to help them through this hard time….to help then find places for all her children to live and flourish in your love. And father…help me the next time I come to a long list of names in your bible…to stop and ask you to help me sort through all the information for the things you want me to learn from all those names.  Amen.

Distractions

Genesis 35:1-3 - God said to Jacob, "Arise, go up to Bethel, and dwell there; and make there an altar to the God who appeared to you when you fled from your brother Esau."  So Jacob said to his household and to all who were with him, "Put away the foreign gods that are among you, and purify yourselves, and change your garments;  then let us arise and go up to Bethel, that I may make there an altar to the God who answered me in the day of my distress and has been with me wherever I have gone." 

Jacob..for reasons we are never told…gets sidetracked.  He was supposed to go to Bethel all along.  Maybe it was the release of worry that his brother was still mad….maybe it was pride in the huge flocks and family God had given him…maybe he worried that the land of his father’s would not sustain both brothers if he lived there….maybe he just needed some time to be on his own…to prove to himself that he could handle life without  parents…without a father-in-law…without a brother.  But God finally spoke…and said, “Arise… go up to Bethel, and dwell there; and make there an altar to the God who appeared to you when you fled from your brother Esau."  God doesn’t have to tell Jacob twice….he immediately speaks to all the people God has blessed him with…all the servants and family….and he tells them to put away the idols they brought with them.

God is always watching us…sometimes he just looks over our shoulders…allowing our choices in life to dictate the next season of our life.  I believe in my heart that he knows the lessons we will learn from the decisions we probably made without his complete guidance …and like Jacob…and he allows them. He allowed the choices Jacob made to live in Shechem…bring sorrow and pain to his family…and to eventually bring calamity to the town itself. Jacob’s daughter is raped…his sons deceive and murder the whole town ….plundering the wealth and bringing the idols into their homes as good luck charms of sorts.  And the consequences of Jacob’s distraction is more costly than he ever dreamed…as he loses Rachel in the move back to Bethel as she bears him his last son.

God only allows so much pain before he speaks to us…and tells us that we have lived long enough on our own.  He speaks to us as he spoke to Jacob…and he says Arise….take up this task I have for you…and build me an altar…and worship me completely again. Just like the times in my own life that I relied more on myself than I did on God….when I allowed Satan to trick me into drinking with teens half my age for attention….when I allowed Satan to distract me into thinking a divorce was my only option.  The pain of those choices still is brought to mind today…and my children still suffer from my choice to leave their father. The idols of shopping and TV filled the loneliness….even got me compliments that boosted my battered self image….but in truth..they kept me from spending quality time with the father…they became good luck charms that helped me rationalize the choices I had made as good for me.

And like Jacob ….even when we hear him and follow his calling….life will still have some pain…like when I was sure that the decision to marry again was a blessing from God….and he only allowed me to share that love on Earth for four short months.  I am sure that Jacob drew closer to God as he buried is sweet love…in a land he would not be able to visit weekly. He left that grave and moved on to do what God asked…and allowed God to be his security blanket…his permanent good luck charm…as he moved forward to embrace the promise God had given to his grandfather Abram….and then to his father Isaac….and now to him.  He even embraced his new name Israel this time…and planted a love for God in his heart that was stronger than the distractions Satan placed around him.

Father…I thank you once again for the many lessons you have allowed in my life…many that seemed bad and  horrid…and painful at the time…but because you called my name…because you only let me fall so far before you spoke to me…I have found a greater purpose for your love. Help me now to go out and embrace my new name…my new task…and with a renewed passion for your love…be more aware of your presence…be quicker to pray to you for directions…give up any idol and distraction that Satan still tricks me with….follow you wherever you ask me to go.  Draw me even closer to you…so I can hear your voice even better…and walk with me as I search for what you want me to do. Amen.

No Revenge Allowed!

Genesis 34: 2-3 and 25-29 -   and when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, the prince of the land, saw her, he seized her and lay with her and humbled her.  And his soul was drawn to Dinah the daughter of Jacob; he loved the maiden and spoke tenderly to her. ……. On the third day, when they were sore, two of the sons of Jacob, Simeon and Levi, Dinah's brothers, took their swords and came upon the city unawares, and killed all the males.  They slew Hamor and his son Shechem with the sword, and took Dinah out of Shechem's house, and went away.  And the sons of Jacob came upon the slain, and plundered the city, because their sister had been defiled;  they took their flocks and their herds, their asses, and whatever was in the city and in the field;  all their wealth, all their little ones and their wives, all that was in the houses, they captured and made their prey. 

Impossible for my mind to conceive…how love of any sort could just take what it wants…could be so selfish and cruel that it could rape an innocent young girl. Dinah could not have been much more than 14 years of age…appropriate for giving in marriage for that day …but so young to endure the violence of rape.  Shechem’s love was definitely not taught by Yahweh…for if he had been taught God’s way of loving…he could have never raped Dinah…and then claimed that his love drove him to such a violent act.

And I wonder what Godly lessons Jacob took the time to teach his sons after reading this….for they too have some real issues with how to love. They continue Jacob’s habit of deceit and trickery…they poke fun at the law of circumcision….and they destroy a whole town in their arrogance and anger.  And if that is not enough horror for one story…they further wound the soul’s of all the grieving widows and children by taking them captive…and plundering all the wealth left in the town.

Two wrongs simply do not make a right…..revenge belongs to God…..lust is lust…..and anger is a dangerous emotion when left to our human desire to right the wrongs we are asked for some reason to endure while on this Earth.  Jacob’s sons have drifted away from the love of God’s heart…and allowed Satan to replace it with righteous indignation….a dangerous emotion that makes us believe we have the right to pay back evil for more evil. 1 Thessalonians 5:15 says, “See that none of you repays evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to all….and Hebrews 10:30 tells us, “  For we know him who said, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay." And again, "The Lord will judge his people."….and don’t forget Romans 12:17…where Paul states , “Repay no one evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all.”

Father…no words can console the one who has been wronged except your loving words of peace and love and mercy and forgiveness.  Help me father to always cling to your love and remember that you see all the pain I am asked to endure on this earth…and you have a plan for righting all the wrongs that you allow my eyes to see…my heart to feel…and my ears to hear while you allow me time on this Earth…my temporary home. Help me to use the pain and suffering I see to motivate me to console and love and repair…to model your love which can erase and repair the damage the violent acts have done in my friends and families lives…even the strangers you lead me to know. Amen.  

Forgiveness

Genesis 33:1-4 -  And Jacob lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, Esau was coming, and four hundred men with him. So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two maids.  And he put the maids with their children in front, then Leah with her children, and Rachel and Joseph last of all.  He himself went on before them, bowing himself to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother. But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.

There comes a moment in everyone’s lives when you cannot turn back.  You have made a commitment to something far greater than yourself…and even knowing the outcome might destroy you…you continue anyway.  Jacob had wrestled with and turned his total being over to God’s will….and God  in return …God had washed over him the peace that passes all understanding…a strength to face his sin. And so Jacob prepares for the worst…but is surprised by the best.

The great thing about this story is that Jacob experiences the total forgiveness of his brother….and he recognizes that it is a God thing. Esau did not just forgive him in words…he forgave like God forgives…by running to his brother in excitement…in embracing and hugging him…in kissing him…in letting go of his emotions and mixing his tears of joy with Jacob’s tears of repentance….reminding me of the Father’s joy of the prodigal son in Luke 15. It must have been something to behold.

I got caught up for several minutes pondering what caused this great change in Esau.  I searched my resources…and racked my own brain for possibilities. I wanted to find the story of what God used in Esau’s life to bring him to that moment of total forgiveness…but realized God did not allow Moses to record that moment in time for us….just the end result. Esau must have met God at some point in his life too…and he allowed God to wash away all the bitterness he had built up in his own heart. Forgiveness is a powerful tool of God to change hearts and lives….so we can focus on God instead of ourselves….so we can focus on the task God gave us do…instead of what earthly things might bring us satisfaction in life.

It seems at first that Esau got way more out of this meeting than Jacob.  Esau left thinking that he and his brother had been reunited…he probably planned a huge surprise party to celebrate as soon as he reached Seir.  But Jacob delays his trip by many years…going to Succoth for reasons not fully explained… building pens for his flocks. The peace and comfort of his brother’s forgiveness seems to leave Jacob as quickly as they part. He doesn’t run back to the altar at Bethel like I would imagine his own joy would drive him too.  He goes off on a hard to explain side trip…finally settling near a town called Shechem and building a new altar there. No worship is mentioned…no thanks to God for his renewed relationship with his brother. Jacob’s repentance seems so surface as he tracks away from his brother. Maybe that is not entirely a bad thing.  Maybe the peace he received allowed him to put the matter out of his mind for good and concentrate on God’s orders to return to the land of his father’s so he could be blessed with the promise of God. But I have to entertain the thought that Esau’s forgiveness gave Jacob a false confidence…allowing pride to once again creep into his heart.

Father…..I am constantly amazed by your goodness and mercy.  I thank you for the power of forgiveness that washes a peace into my soul…that my past is erased from your memory …just as Esau erased the mean treatment of his brother out of his own mind.  Thank you for helping me to draw closer to you each day….for allowing me to drink in the secrets to washing hate and bitterness completely out of my heart. Help me to guard against the world robbing me of the comfort and peace you have given me. Let me meet you at our usual place each night to talk to each other and wake each morning to write what you need me to learn from your book of wisdom. Give me a constant source of energy and strength to search for your will….and then apply it quickly to everything I do. Amen

Give it all to God!

Genesis 32:24-28 - And Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day.  When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and Jacob's thigh was put out of joint as he wrestled with him.  Then he said, "Let me go, for the day is breaking." But Jacob said, "I will not let you go, unless you bless me."  And he said to him, "What is your name?" And he said, "Jacob."  Then he said, "Your name shall no more be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed." 

We all come to a point in our lives when we realize that we have no control.  We have allowed the sins and mistakes of our past to follow us ….to haunt our soul….to hold us back from what God needs us to be. Jacob had reached such a point in his life….and in his great need to put his mistreatment of Esau behind him…he wrestled with God. He wrestled with the control we all think we need over our lives…trying to hold on to God as a security blanket…but never really letting him have all of our heart.

At some point during the night….Jacob realized that he was his own worse problem….and he knew he could not make it alone…so he begged God for his blessing. I find it ironic that Gog ask him his name before he blessed him.  God wasn’t confused…he just wanted to know if Jacob had figured out who he was….maybe he had internalized the lie he told to his father Isaac that day he stole the blessing of his brother…maybe he had no confidence that he should have it …because he knew deep down it belonged to his brother.

That is the way Satan tricks all of us. He finds a mistake we made…a sin that has never been resolved and turned over to God….and he pokes at it…and makes us feel unworthy to even ask God to wash it away.  And so we begin to believe the lie we told….and the sin festers…and becomes so big that only God can fix it. We beat ourselves up …over and over again….and allow the sin to stay…and keep us from being all that God wants us to be.

Jacob did a great thing that morning…he let go of his sin and gave it to God. He finally gave up the control of his sin…and he gave it to God. He let God wash it completely away..and replace it with a heart of repentance and peace…..with a heart that wanted to pay back the wrong he had done to his brother. The fear of facing his brother was still there….he had to face the consequences of his wrongdoing…but he faced them with God at his side.  Jacob left that place with a new name…Jacob became Israel that day…and began to be what God had intended all along.

Father…I thank you for this story of Jacob…and the reminder to let go of all my sin and let you control my life. Help me remember to never hold on to my sins again…to always admit as quickly as you point them out…that I need you to forgive me and wash me clean once more. Give me a new name of faith…that shows that I have turned my life over to you…every part of my heart…every sin…and every good thing.  Show me how to walk right up to my fears and failures and tell them that it is okay….I know that you will be there to help me endure any consequence that comes from my actions.  Help me to always remember that every good thing I have belongs to you…and should be used to glorify you. Amen.

Peace...not Anger

Genesis 31:36-42 -  Then Jacob became angry, and upbraided Laban; Jacob said to Laban, "What is my offense? What is my sin, that you have hotly pursued me?  Although you have felt through all my goods, what have you found of all your household goods? Set it here before my kinsmen and your kinsmen, that they may decide between us two.  These twenty years I have been with you; your ewes and your she-goats have not miscarried, and I have not eaten the rams of your flocks.  That which was torn by wild beasts I did not bring to you; I bore the loss of it myself; of my hand you required it, whether stolen by day or stolen by night. Thus I was; by day the heat consumed me, and the cold by night, and my sleep fled from my eyes. These twenty years I have been in your house; I served you fourteen years for your two daughters, and six years for your flock, and you have changed my wages ten times.  If the God of my father, the God of Abraham and the Fear of Isaac, had not been on my side, surely now you would have sent me away empty-handed. God saw my affliction and the labor of my hands, and rebuked you last night." 

Twenty years of pent up emotions was unleashed in this angry speech to Laban. Jacob finally reached his breaking point …and poured out all the hurt…all the unfairness…all his hidden feelings. If it had not been shared in anger…I would say it was well deserved….even called for…but a part of me knows that things said in anger can’t be taken back.  Jacob doesn’t know that his wife Rachel has stolen her father’s household gods…teraphims that maybe she feels she deserves because she was mistreated by him too.   Jacob in his anger….pronounces his beloved wife’s death sentence…and curses her unknowingly. Jacob…in his anger… allows his pride to shoot a list of …”I did all these things for you” …. a mile long at Laban.

Jacob’s anger was wrong…and I think he realized it at the end of his speech…for he finally gives the credit for all his success to God at the end. And after they both calm down…and Laban tears through the camp looking for his gods….they both decide to sign a peace treaty. And they build an altar to Jacob’s God…and sacrifice to God…and eat and fellowship…and say goodbye.  They give oath to each other with God as their witness…that they will never bother each other again. Laban gets to say goodbye to his daughters and grandchildren…and Jacob gets to continue his travels with a clear head.

The peace of God is like that…it washes over all the hate and ugly emotions that have built up for years…and forgiveness takes its place.  The peace that these two felt was forgiveness...and the forgiveness that Jacob allowed God to wash over him …helped him to view all those ways God allowed him to be tricked in an entirely different way.  He began to see them as lessons that built his character…lessons that taught him perseverance…lessons that taught him obedience to God and his laws.  Jacob deepened his relationship with God that day…because he realized peace was more important than anger….that the lessons we learn from our life hurts can far outweigh the pain and sorrow we endure form them.

Father …I thank you for every hurt and wrong that was ever done to me.  I thank you for the covering that you provided …the love you washed over me to help me endure and move past the pain.  I thank you for all the times you covered me when I was angry. Help me this day to see those times of injustice…as ways that you have tried to make me stronger. Give me clear visions of the lessons you were teaching me…and reveal to me the things I need to learn to be a better vessel for you. Help me to always seek you in peace and build an altar and praise you…and never lash out in anger again. Amen.

God's Blessings in Spite of our Complacency

Genesis 30:25-28 - When Rachel had borne Joseph, Jacob said to Laban, "Send me away, that I may go to my own home and country.  Give me my wives and my children for whom I have served you, and let me go; for you know the service which I have given you."  But Laban said to him, "If you will allow me to say so, I have learned by divination that the LORD has blessed me because of you;  name your wages, and I will give it." 

Laban knew a good thing when he saw it. He must not have had a very strong relationship with God…for he learned about his blessing by divination…the practice of seeking a glimpse of the future from the pagan worshipers in the area. Amazing to me that the pagan Gods knew his wealth was due to the favor of God on his nephew….but confusing to me is the fact that Laban did not fall immediately to the ground and ask Jacob to show him how to gain this favor for himself. I guess that just goes to show you how wrapped up in the world we can get sometimes.

Jacob must not have been worshiping or talking to God lately either…for watching Laban’s flocks grow to great numbers… having nothing of his own to show for it…he forgets the part of God’s promise to give him the land of Cannan…and multiply his own seed into a great nation of much wealth….so he just asks Laban to release him and his large family to go back home. He does flat out tell Laban that all he has his due to God’s Favor..but he forgets to tell himself that God has promised him the same thing.

But that God…he just shows up and shows out … even though we read nothing of Jacob building  his relationship with God stronger…God blesses the strange method Jacob uses to multiply the few animals he gets in this deal.  The spotted reeds really had no scientific basis for working…Laban even tries to manipulate the numbers by hiding the males that fit Jacob’s request. It is totally a God thing that Jacob’s flocks grow to great numbers….and are stronger in health than his uncles. God’s wisdom wells up inside of Jacob in spite of his lack of faith and dependence on God.

I for one am very happy that God works this way sometimes…for I too have allowed the world to trick me into following its ways instead of God’s ways sometimes.  God doesn’t leave me….he carries me and blesses me in spite of my stupidity…he uses this time of complacency to teach me valuable lessons I will need later in my journey with him. I can look back to every worldly decision I have made with peace now…and bask in God’s mercy that he carried me through the bad decision I made…and allowed it to draw me closer to him.

Father…I thank  you that you are a loving God…full of patience with my human nature.  I thank you that like Jacob…you bless me in spite of my lack of faith in your promise to prosper me and give me hope. Give me this morning a new vision of your love for me…and write on my heart a new prayer of faith….for I know you have great plans for me…and they will prosper me and give me hope for my future ….just like Jeremiah 29:11 told me that day. Whether you give a me a clear dream of exactly what will be…or ask me to wait a little longer while you teach me to depend on just you..help me Lord to thank  you and praise you continually for all the good things you have blessed me with. Amen.

Love...Plus Patience...Plus God's Strength...Equals God's Will

Genesis 29:10 14 -  Now when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother's brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother's brother, Jacob went up and rolled the stone from the well's mouth, and watered the flock of Laban his mother's brother.  Then Jacob kissed Rachel, and wept aloud. And Jacob told Rachel that he was her father's kinsman, and that he was Rebekah's son; and she ran and told her father.  When Laban heard the tidings of Jacob his sister's son, he ran to meet him, and embraced him and kissed him, and brought him to his house. Jacob told Laban all these things,  and Laban said to him, "Surely you are my bone and my flesh!" And he stayed with him a month.

We are not told how long Jacob traveled….all we know is he was following the directions of his father’s blessing…under the watchful eye of God himself. As far as the scriptures record…Jacob was on foot…traveling by himself. It must have moved him just to see the shepherds…and sheep laying by the well. Jacob has spent so much time inside the house with his mom…they have to explain to him why they are waiting to move the stone and water the sheep. But the explanation opens the way for him to ask about the uncle he is seeking….and to receive the news that he is well…and that his journey has almost ended.

So moved by the presence of his daughter….he moves the stone and waters the sheep of his uncle.  Then he kisses Rachel…a simple kiss of friendship and greeting….a kiss that brought all the emotions from the past few days to the surface…as he weeps openly and reveals the family ties that show they are relatives. How wonderful that Rachel is so excited that she runs home to tell her father.  How wonderful …that he runs to greet Jacob…and Jacob confirms he is indeed the son of his sister who left so long ago. How wonderful that Laban accepted him and invited him to stay. 

Sometimes…it is that easy. We are walking in God’s footprints…holding tightly to his hand…and can’t help but be in his will…and that one season of our life is just so perfect that all the pieces of the puzzle fit immediately into place. No wonder he fell in love with Rachel…the pure joy he must have shared that day with her family gave him a deep lasting love for this girl he saw coming innocently toward the well. Oh what comfort and strength it must have given this lad who had messed up so badly he had to leave home to save his life. His deep love gave him the strength to work for 14 years to marry her….and endure the trickery of Laban as he was forced to marry Leah.  He was so in tune with God’s purposes in his life that he could walk day by day in peace…and fulfill the requirements to obtain a promise.

I was hard not to notice how Jacob was not perfect in these two marriages. He did slight Leah…she must have suffered greatly knowing she was just a means to an end.  So God closed the womb of Rachel and let Leah bear the first four fathers of the promised people as a message to her that she was important…even if her husband did not love her as much as her sister.  God is good that way…consoling us sometimes when we are wronged…allowing us to feel his great blessings as he did Leah…allowing these children to keep her from being alone…and later making them into great men that would sire the nation of Israel.

Father…I thank you this morning for this story of hope…courage…patience …and strength.  I thank you that you allowed Jacob to restore his life over these years he lived with Laban….for allowing  him to marry and father the children that would later produce the Messiah....the one that saved me from all my sins.  Help me to walk with you like Jacob did…to be completely in tune with your will for my life so I can have strength to do what I need to do…and wait as long as I need to wait to see your plan for me revealed. Help me to be all that I can be…in spite of the sins I still allow to surface each day.  keep revealing those sins to me…so I can empty them out of my life…and walk even closer to you. Amen.

Dreams of Assurance

Genesis 28: 12-16 - And he dreamed that there was a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven; and behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it!  behold, the LORD stood above it and said, "I am the LORD, the God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac; the land on which you lie I will give to you and to your descendants;  and your descendants shall be like the dust of the earth, and you shall spread abroad to the west and to the east and to the north and to the south; and by you and your descendants shall all the families of the earth bless themselves.  Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done that of which I have spoken to you."  Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, "Surely the LORD is in this place; and I did not know it." 

I fell asleep last night …thinking how cool it would be to have a dream that told your sure future.  We know that it scared Jacob a bit….but it also helped him see the great majesty of God…and caused him to erect the stone he was sleeping on into a place of memorial…so he could remember to worship there. Jacob is shown that the blessing of his father Isaac..who was passed this blessing from his grandfather Abraham…was a binding blessing…God himself reassuring Jacob that he would someday own the land he slept on…and that he would someday be the father of so many children they would need to be divided into tribes.

Jacob is so moved by this dream that he makes a vow back to God at the end of this chapter. It was a vow that came straight from his thankfulness….from a heart that realized that he did not have to help God to get the blessing he thought he had to trick and deceive for. It was a vow of deep conviction and commitment….that would give him the strength to endure the lessons God would teach him over the next 30 years. I believe a bit of remorse was mixed into this promise to God…Jacob realized in this moment his actions were wrong….and he would need to rely on and  trust in God from now on to manifest this promise in God’s time.

As I read…it dawned on me that he was the third generation to receive the promise….God never told Abraham when. This timing of God…it makes all of us wait …until we show him we are ready to do what he needs us to do. Abraham had a problem with lying that he never really got rid of. Isaac and Rebekah never really learned not to lie and deceive.  Rebekah sure did not trust God to bless the right son. Maybe all the human faults that I possess…the ones that keep allowing Satan to trick me into using to get what I think I need…keep me from moving forward in God’s plan for my life too.

Father..I sit here wishing you would come to me in a dream too….and tell me what to look forward to. Maybe…someday I will be ready.  Wash me Lord of every fault…of every habit I have …that I allow Satan to trick me with…because I don’t trust you…or I don’t ask you what to do. Give me a vision of your promise to prosper me and give me hope…make it a moment of deep conviction and realization that you need to teach me how to rely on only you…so I can finish the work you brought me to earth to do. Allow your great strength to give me courage that day to see who you are…and accept in that very moment the task you have given me to do. Amen

Delayed Blessings

Genesis 27:1-6 -  When Isaac was old and his eyes were dim so that he could not see, he called Esau his older son, and said to him, "My son"; and he answered, "Here I am."  He said, "Behold, I am old; I do not know the day of my death.  Now then, take your weapons, your quiver and your bow, and go out to the field, and hunt game for me,  and prepare for me savory food, such as I love, and bring it to me that I may eat; that I may bless you before I die."  Now Rebekah was listening when Isaac spoke to his son Esau. So when Esau went to the field to hunt for game and bring it,  Rebekah said to her son Jacob, "I heard your father speak to your brother Esau, 

Sometimes we just happen to be in a position where we hear tidbits of knowledge that tell us more than we can handle.  The information we hear  …the news that is heard …is so devastating it causes our brain to go into survival mode.  Whether we hear by accident or by some premeditated action really doesn’t matter.  We feel so strongly that the outcome…if left to the natural order of things …if left to the timing of God’s plan…will crush us forever…so we fall into the trap Rebekah fell into…and we weave an orchestrated set of deceit that is meant to help God work good of some sort. Rebekah’s sin is twofold here…she lies..because she does not trust God!

Jacob’s initial fear sure didn’t stem from the possible loss of God’s…Isaac’s or Rebekah’s love.  It stemed from the possibility of being caught…of being cursed forever. But Rebekah…she is relentless…maybe even desperate to see God’s earlier words come true. Having been told before the boys birth that Jacob would be the ruler of the other…she figures the news was meant for her…and weaves this plan to make sure God’s words are true. She tells Jacob to lie…and he follows mom’s advice…and a complicated web of deceit…changes Jacob’s future for ever.

The only thing good he got that day he lied to his father was the proclamation of the blessing…a little earlier than God planed. God did not allow Isaac’s blessing to manifest till many years later. For now….the hatred this act causes between his brother….and Rebekah’s fear of losing her favorite son….cause Jacob to have to flee to a relative’s home far away. This web of lies they spin cost them their relationship with each other…for Rebekah never sees him again. And it takes God many years to untangle the web of dishonesty in Jacob…so he can use him once again…and fulfill the blessing…and start to fulfill the bigger promise he made to Abraham. Once again the interruption of our human nature causes o plan to be delayed .

I could write pages and pages of convicted moments in my life that mirror Rebekah’s haste and lack of trust in God’s timing.  One biggie….was the day I drove myself literally out of Williamsburg Kentucky and began the process of divorcing the father of three very precious children. And even if I listed all the smaller times I tried to speed up God’s plans…I am sure there are probably some moments still buried so deep in my soul that even God has chosen not to uncover them just yet. It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do…..for my human sense of time is so urgent….and waiting causes me to begin to doubt my surroundings…myself... and God’s plan for my future. All I do is give Satan a foothold to make that doubt even stronger….and I end up letting go of God’s hand for a moment….and his plan for me is delayed..while he waits for me to trust him once again…so he can clean up the mess I made…and get me back on track.

Father…I know that you have forgiven me for the times I left you and did not trust you…and I know that you have forgiven me for any lie and deceit I ever used to get something I wanted…or used to cover up the truth.  I thank you that your love is beginning to wash away all the consequences of my deceit and sin. You are so amazing…that even though I walked without you for years….you are still working that great plan in my life….that plan to prosper me and give me hope for my future.  Thank you for never giving up on me…for walking next to me even though I did not hold your hand…and taking the time to teach me...and help me see the mistakes I made…and even use them to strengthen me. Help me learn to wait on you Lord…to stop trying to help you….and slow down your plan. Give me the courage it takes to trust you to do all things for the good of those that love you. Amen.

Showing Peace

Genesis 26: 12- 17 -  And Isaac sowed in that land, and reaped in the same year a hundredfold. The LORD blessed him,  and the man became rich, and gained more and more until he became very wealthy.  He had possessions of flocks and herds, and a great household, so that the Philistines envied him.  (Now the Philistines had stopped and filled with earth all the wells which his father's servants had dug in the days of Abraham his father.)  And Abim'elech said to Isaac, "Go away from us; for you are much mightier than we."  So Isaac departed from there, and encamped in the valley of Gerar and dwelt there. 

Sometimes we are called to stand up and fight for what is right…..and sometimes we are called to model peace like Isaac did.  Issac was following the directions of God…living in the land of Gerar…receiving wealth from his crops and healthy livestock….but jealously of his rich blessings from God drove some of the Philistines he shared land with to fill in his wells. The king had forbidden anyone to touch him or Rebekah…so they lashed out by cutting off his supply of life sustaining water. This was a very serious act…considered to be a invitation to war….but Isaac does not fight back. The King even sees the possible fight to come and ask him to leave the land….so Isaac found another place in Gerar to live…a valley…where he promptly digs 2 more wells that are also filled in by the natives that already lived there.

Amazing the ability of Isaac to just accept these acts for what they are…and keep following God’s directions. He had been told to live in Gerar…his large flocks and family needed water to survive…so he just dug another well.  Three wells he digs….until all the people there are finally satisfied that he means them no harm.  Isaac even models for us how we should not spite others…and hollows back out all the wells that had been covered in the long process of modeling the peace of God.

You really need to read the end of this chapter too….for Isaac moves this simple concept of peace to a whole new level….as he continues to show us how to swallow our pride and forgive and forget the wrongs that have been done to us in the past. As we read about the peace treaty he signed with the King that sent him away in verses 26-31…we see that our actions have more of an impact on others than we sometimes know.  He questions the Kings motives at first…but is overwhelmed with joy to find that his patience and peaceful attitude has finally paid off. He forgets quickly the Kings words of hate and rejection and seizes the opportunity to make an ally as he realizes that the King understands where his source of wealth and patience come from.

Oh father…give me the ability to be a model of peace for you. I need your forgiveness once more this morning for the many times I have lashed out in anger and pride and missed the opportunity to show your love and mercy to others. Help me to start anew today…and model peace when I am wronged. Oh how hard Father it is to know when to model peace and when to separate myself from the world and fight for your ways…help me to discern those times that I need to stand firm....and which times I just need to stand in peace…and wait for you to weld together your bigger plan. Amen.

The cost of Indifference

Genesis 25: 29-34 -  Once when Jacob was boiling pottage, Esau came in from the field, and he was famished.  And Esau said to Jacob, "Let me eat some of that red pottage, for I am famished!" (Therefore his name was called Edom.)  Jacob said, "First sell me your birthright."  Esau said, "I am about to die; of what use is a birthright to me?" Jacob said, "Swear to me first." So he swore to him, and sold his birthright to Jacob.  Then Jacob gave Esau bread and pottage of lentils, and he ate and drank, and rose and went his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright.

Sometimes we want something so badly…we let our want of it twist our perspective.  The choice we make in this moment of want…this passion to have something so badly makes what we trade for it seem unimportant …less valuable.  The lack of concern of Esau in this moment….the moment he allows extreme hunger to override his ability to think about the future consequences of such a decision…cost him way more than he bargained for.  God does not stop Jacob….instead he allows the natural consequences of Esau’s actions to be recorded …to teach us a valuable lesson…a lesson about indifference.

It was obvious to me just what God was trying to teach me…I too have been an ‘Esau’ many times in my 53 years.  The last car I bought was purchased with way to high an interest rate….I remember telling myself that I had to have it….even though the Taurus I drove was  working fine.  There is a very expensive heart shaped diamond ring…trapped in the dash of my van somewhere …that I don’t even get to enjoy…bought on a payment plan that raised the price way higher than the ring was valued. And I could list the few credit cards I own…justified because I needed to build my credit rating back after the financial damage the divorce caused. I rent…because I remember the time I had a mortgage in my first marriage…the payments we made to invest in this first home….did not bring one penny of profit.

Sometimes we don’t see the value of something we have…and we sell it for stew. The immediate pleasure often fades as the poor choice we made presents consequences we did not think about at the time. Then Satan takes that small bit of indifference and he multiplies it to other areas of our lives…and we sell way more of our heart to the world …and begin to miss the great blessings of God. We become Esau’s…selling the birthright we all have in the death of his son on the cross…for some insignificant pleasure that only lasts for a short time.

Father…thank you for the reminder that I need to constantly guard against the indifference of the world around me.  Help me to hold your promise of love and hope for the future so tight in my heart that I learn to say no to the immediate pleasures that might eventually cause my relationship with you to grow cold.  Forgive me Lord for the times I have sinned this way…and bring them back to my mind when Satan tries to trick me that way again.  Draw me even closer to you…and help me invest in your kingdom…help me to use what you have given me to tell others about the great gift of life your san gave us all. Amen.

Ask...Gaze..and Praise

Genesis 24: 12-15 -  And he said, "O LORD, God of my master Abraham, grant me success today, I pray thee, and show steadfast love to my master Abraham.  Behold, I am standing by the spring of water, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water. Let the maiden to whom I shall say, 'Pray let down your jar that I may drink,' and who shall say, 'Drink, and I will water your camels' --let her be the one whom thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac. By this I shall know that thou hast shown steadfast love to my master."  Before he had done speaking, behold, Rebekah, who was born to Bethu'el the son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother, came out with her water jar upon her shoulder. 

Abraham’s deep love of God sent his loyal servant back to his homeland to find a suitable wife for his son.  Abraham felt deep in his soul how important it was for Isaac to marry a Godly woman…raised in a family that loved and revered the Lord as much as he did. His servant must have known too…for I do not believe it was just his desire to please Abraham that drove him to pray to God for help.  It was his knowledge of all God had done for Abraham…and the many years of watching his master pray to God that initiated this fervent prayer of help.

I love how God answers this one before he even finishes voicing it! How confirming it must have been to see this beautiful maiden come toward the well….oh how the servant’s heart must have leaped in his chest as he anticipated her words to him.  Oh how his heart must have swelled with joy as he heard the exact words that he had prayed show him the perfect match for his master’s son. And how wonderful that he stopped right then to praise and worship the Lord for his quick answer!

Can you imagine the faces around the dinner table as the servant explains the jewelry he gave Rebekah…as he tells the story to her family…as they realize that Isaac is a relative….as they realize that their daughter will have such a major role in the making of a great nation? How humbling…but how gratifying to be a part of such a great plan of God.  How wonderful that God brought all of them to together for such a sweet moment in time…when all involved knew it was God ….welding together a plan that would change the world forever.  I can just hear the words of the servant as he dropped to his knees and worshiped and thanked God once more for his help …for his guidance. 

Father…you are always here with me…waiting for me to ask you to help me with any problem…great or small.  I thank you that I can ask you for guidance…and watch as you work your plan in front of me.  I pray that you always remind me of this story...when I forget to ask for your help.  Forgive me for letting the world distract me from knowing that you are just a prayer away.  Give me a heart that seeks you in everything I do….every decision I make. Help me to sit and watch and gaze at you…until I am sure that you have spoken your answer. Then let me drop to my knees in thankful praise…and worship you. Amen.

Invest in Your Future

Genesis 23:1-6  -  Sarah lived a hundred and twenty-seven years; these were the years of the life of Sarah.  And Sarah died at Kir'iath-ar'ba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan; and Abraham went in to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her.  And Abraham rose up from before his dead, and said to the Hittites, "I am a stranger and a sojourner among you; give me property among you for a burying place, that I may bury my dead out of my sight."  The Hittites answered Abraham,  "Hear us, my lord; you are a mighty prince among us. Bury your dead in the choicest of our sepulchres; none of us will withhold from you his sepulchre, or hinder you from burying your dead."

As I read the first mention of tears in the bible…I had a brief twinge of emotion as I remembered the burial of my own second husband…but then I started thinking that there was more to this story than just the death of Abraham’s wife.  It was no accident that she died while they were living in Canaan…the grief and sadness created a legitimate reason for Abraham to acquire his first piece of the promised land of God before his own death. His faith had grown in his long years on the Earth…and he knew some day…his people would own the whole land. Abraham modeled for us all that there is always a future..that we should not cling to the present or past….but grasp the promises of God to do great things…to prosper and bless his people.

 He paid 400 shekels of silver…a very high price for this burial cave…for the man who sold it saw an opportunity to sell the whole field. AND even though Abraham was a sojourner and wanderer…this was not a sacrifice…the men of Canaan knew that Abraham was rich and even realized that his blessings came from God. A quick history lesson tells us that this dialogue between the two men was the custom in that day…. The land first being offered as a gift was just a polite beginning to the transaction. Abraham was expected to make a counter-offer that cut the price in half…but Abraham wanted to pay the highest price…so that there would be no question of ownership later. What better way to thank God for his blessings than to invest in the land God had promised him over 70 years before. He could see the future God intended for his son..and he wanted Sarah to be buried where God said his home would someday be too.

God’s promises to us are never given in our past. A promise …by its very nature…must be fulfilled in the present or the future. This story tells me that I must invest in God’s promises to me…not just wait for him to lay it in my lap. Abraham’s faith in God’s promise…shows us all that we must reach out and grab in faith what we know to be God’s will for our lives.  We must be ready to invest what he gives us into other’s lives as well. As he pours into us…we must pour out to others.  We are to be active participants in moving forward in God’s plan for our lives.  We are to seek him…with all of our heart…..with all of our soul…with all of our mind. All means all!

Father…your blessings amaze me! I stand in awe of what you have done for me…how you have helped me move from the deep sadness of loss and grief…to the joy of resting in a greater promise. Forgive me for my impatience in your plan..and help me to see the future with new eyes. Reveal to me just how to invest the many blessings you shower on me every day with all those around me.  Help me invent new ways to share your love as I wait for your promise to prosper me in the future.  Help me to invest in the hope you have already placed in my heart…and watch it grow into a blessing so big that all those that see it will marvel at your glory and power. Amen.

How Much do you Love God?

Genesis 22:12-14 -  But the angel of the LORD called to him from heaven, and said, "Abraham, Abraham!" And he said, "Here am I."  He said, "Do not lay your hand on the lad or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me."  And Abraham lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him was a ram, caught in a thicket by his horns; and Abraham went and took the ram, and offered it up as a burnt offering instead of his son.  So Abraham called the name of that place The LORD will provide; as it is said to this day, "On the mount of the LORD it shall be provided." 

Abraham had been given orders to sacrifice the promise God had given him. I imagine that he did not sleep much the night before he left….and my mind wonders what prayers he must have uttered. But this story..as the Bible records it….says that Abraham got up early…cut wood…and did exactly what God told him to. He had to travel 3 days with this dreadful order in his head…but the bible does not record any vocalized doubt…no pitiful cries to the father to let him sacrifice something less meaningful to his life. The conversation between Abraham and his son is not recorded….maybe Abraham’s heart was so heavy with sadness he walked the whole three days in silence…praying God take this horrible task from his hand.

But Abraham …in the most revered act of obedience recorded in the old testament….raised the knife to slay the sacrificial lamb…his own son. In that moment…Abraham decided to follow God completely…he believed that if indeed this son must be a sacrifice…he trusted God to provide another to fulfill his promise. And in that moment …God was sure that Abraham would indeed choose him above the son that would carry on his seed….and an angel calls out from Heaven…and tells him that he has the evidence he needs…the proof that God is first in his life. Then God provides a substitute….a ram caught by his very horns in a bush.  I wonder what Isaac thought as his father untied him and they killed the ram and burned it on the altar. I wonder if Abraham shared the whole story…of why he almost killed his own son.

Makes me wonder if I am as ready to place God first in my own life….if I can give up every single blessing he has given me to prove that I love him the most!  I am pretty sure God is not going to have me slay and sacrifice my own child….but I remember that God actually carried out a similar plan when he gave up his own son on the cross.  He allowed a precious human woman to carry the seed of his precious son. He trained him for around 27 years…then launched a ministry that lasted 3…before the world decided that he must be done away with….and they killed him on that cross. God did not stop the angels that day…he let the nails rip through his flesh…he let the sword pierce his side…he even allowed death to overcome this precious son who prayed the night before to have this cup taken from him.  And in that moment..the perfect sacrifice of Jesus …split the gates of hell wide open and made a way for all of us to be saved….no more blood sacrifices are needed….Jesus’ blood paid the full price for all our sins.

Father…I am continually amazed at how much you love me. I thank you for sacrificing your son….for watching him suffer so.  I ask that you help me to remember this sacrifice the next time you tell me that I should give something up…because it trying to take your place.  Open my heart to see anything that I have made a little too important in my life. Reveal to me anything that I need to remove from my life that endangers my relationship with you.   Thank you for this story…that not only reminds me that I need to place you first in my life….but that I also need to obey you in all that you tell me to do. Help me to always remember that you have a plan for my life…and it is to prosper me…to give me hope for my future..and that you love me more than I could ever love myself. Amen.

Pure Joy times.....?

Genesis 21: 1-7 -  The LORD visited Sarah as he had said, and the LORD did to Sarah as he had promised.  And Sarah conceived, and bore Abraham a son in his old age at the time of which God had spoken to him. Abraham called the name of his son who was born to him, whom Sarah bore him, Isaac.  And Abraham circumcised his son Isaac when he was eight days old, as God had commanded him. Abraham was a hundred years old when his son Isaac was born to him.  And Sarah said, "God has made laughter for me; every one who hears will laugh over me."  And she said, "Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would suckle children? Yet I have borne him a son in his old age." 

That moment when pure joy overtakes not just your soul…but your entire being…is one that can only be brought about by the goodness of God.  Sarah’s long wait turned her nervous laughter and doubt…into peals of pure joy. As she held that promise finally in her arms…the reality of its joy overtook everyone that came close to her. As Sarah is shown in a physical way just how powerful and mighty God is….she is reminded that nothing is too difficult for God…that God’s dreams for us are sometimes something that we never think can happen …and the joy that overtakes her cures and heals all the wounds from the 90 years of barrenness….the contagious nature of pure joy spreading to everyone that comes near her.

I remember the pure joy of getting that first phone call from my sweet Mitchell. I had met him on Father’s day…but had not heard from him since..and as I was sitting in a warehouse….early in the month of July where I had been working to prepare items to give away at the worship service and meal for some homeless in Nashville, TN. My friends around me..resting on the floor after a long …hot day of organizing…painting….cooking….my cell phone rang.   I spied the number…and for what seemed liked 5 minutes my brain froze. Could it really be that God would bless me with a Godly man to share my life…after the pain and pure sorrow from my divorce a year earlier had convinced me I would be alone forever. And I am still teased about the moment after that…when I beat the floor silently and mouthed the words…. “Oh my gosh…it’s him…it’s him”…and ran out of the room to talk like some silly teenager.

The pure joy of God was evident for the next four months as we dated...and married…and as I try to type through the sweet tears of missing him…I see that the joy God gave me in those months…has helped me to accept that God had in mind something different than I had conceived in  my mind for myself.  September 1…our wedding date…and Oct 3…the day God gave him a home in heaven…were not much time to love each other…and yet even for those short days…his love was so amazing. The joy of knowing Mitchell and being allowed to be married to him began a healing process…it washed over me the love of God and began to erase the self doubt that divorce burns in your soul..it began to teach me that I am not defined by my past…but by the present.

One more point…if I can see to type a few more words. This story…it is a reminder to all of us who still struggle with pain from past hurts. I hope I don’t have to wait till I am 90…and I will try not to giggle in disbelief if God allows me to overhear his next plan for me…because I know that the joy will return when I least expect it. It may be another relationship…..it may be a glorious missionary assignment…it may be something my brain never even thought to be something that God can use to bring in lost souls to his kingdom….but…it will come….and like Sarah I will once again proclaim the joy of the Lord …and I will praise him…and I will allow the joy to overtake my being.

Oh father..I can’t see to type through my tears….a mixture of thankfulness …joy…sweet memories…and recollection of the great love you gave me for that short season of life. Help me Lord to remain ever expectant that you are welding together some great joy for me again…that since I am still on this Earth…you still have something important for me to do. Give me eyes to see everything you place in my path to train me for that next task.  Give me hears to hear the deceitful tricks that Satan will use to keep me from walking the quickest…straightest path to your will.   And father…I just thank you and praise you for that time you allowed with Mitchell…and for the lessons of love they help teach me about you.  Continue to strengthen me and give me courage to seek you for a new season…one that will be even more wonderful than my four months with him. Amen

Repeated Sin

Genesis 20:1-3 -  From there Abraham journeyed toward the territory of the Negeb, and dwelt between Kadesh and Shur; and he sojourned in Gerar.  And Abraham said of Sarah his wife, "She is my sister." And Abim'elech king of Gerar sent and took Sarah.  But God came to Abim'elech in a dream by night, and said to him, "Behold, you are a dead man, because of the woman whom you have taken; for she is a man's wife." 

Abraham felt for some reason we are not told that he needed to move again.  Perhaps it was needed because the air was toxic and endangered his huge herds. Perhaps the sadness of not knowing that Lot was safe…that he might have been destroyed in the burning town he eyed from Mamre….perhaps that drove him to leave the land that God had given him and seek a place that would not remind him of Lot. Perhaps God told him to move once more. But for whatever reason…Abraham finds himself in territory that had the reputation for evil…and felt the same fear as he had before…and tells the same lie. He uses the same ‘half truth’ as he did before to try and protect himself…his family…and the many possessions he traveled there with.

Repeated sin…I am guilty…and I find no comfort in knowing that many people around me are guilty too. It did not take me long to narrow the many sins I have repeated to the one that God needs me to work on…it is the same as Abraham’s. I too have a problem with stretching the truth. Sometimes I too am driven to embellish the truth with extra details that make me seem more intelligent…..or perhaps more similar to the people I am with. I think as I write that I have always given the truth in my writings…but there could be one I don’t recall. Oh how hard it is to admit to the world that I have lied….for any reason…for my mind floods with scripture that I have read and felt strong pangs of guilt…because they tell me just how much God hates this sin…and now I will worry that I have just opened a huge trust issue for most of you that read my writings.

Since I am not a scholar of the Bible yet…I am not sure where these scriptures are… and I thank God for ‘the google’ as I quickly look up the references.  My first search revealed over 15 verses that directly tell us not to lie…from Leviticus 19:11…which flat out says not to lie…to Proverbs !7:20…which says that we set ourselves up for trouble when we lie…to Matthew 12:17…WHICH I WILL QUOTE, “For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.  Abraham knew that lying was detestable to God…so why? I know that lying is wrong…so why the repeated sin…why is it so hard to change this behavior.

I think in my spirit that one of the reasons is fear…the old fear that Abraham felt as he traveled to Egypt resurfaced here in Gerar. The half truth he told had not really worked…but it had kept him alive….so Satan pushed that memory close enough to him for him to grasp it once again. It was a half truth…perhaps he did not see the sin yet…I do not see that God specifically told him in any of the stories that he was to stop lying…the two kings are given that task. And this time…it works for him….God protected Sarah….and the baby she was to have…and God uses it to bless Abraham once again to live anywhere he wants in the King’s territory.  Perhaps we are just too quick to justify …to lie to ourselves…and tell our mind that God has not told us to quit.

Father…thank you for the mercy you have shown me…mercy that I don’t deserve..because I have repeated a sin that I know to be wrong. I thank you God that you are patient and forgiving …and you show me mercy….and you just keep giving me lessons till I get it. Thank you God that you even bless me in spite of the sins I repeat.  Help me father to look upward…and find a new strength to see your will and use that strength that you give to break free of this horrible habit. Help me to walk in your truth and let my honesty cleanse me…and wash me clean of the many times I have lied not just to others…but to myself. Thank  you for the knowledge that I have sinned…and the opportunity to ask your forgiveness..and the sweet peace I feel that you will help me be a new person. Amen.

Entertaining Angels

Genesis 18:1-5 -  And the LORD appeared to him by the oaks of Mamre, as he sat at the door of his tent in the heat of the day.  He lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, three men stood in front of him. When he saw them, he ran from the tent door to meet them, and bowed himself to the earth, and said, "My lord, if I have found favor in your sight, do not pass by your servant.  Let a little water be brought, and wash your feet, and rest yourselves under the tree,  while I fetch a morsel of bread, that you may refresh yourselves, and after that you may pass on--since you have come to your servant." So they said, "Do as you have said." 

God must love Abraham so much….for he visits him often in the Bible records we have. We are not told what they talk about…but as they are visiting this time….three men appear walking toward him. Maybe God had already left him and he was just relaxing under the trees…soaking up the sweetness of the visit…but I find it curious that he was able to leave the presence of God to run and welcome these strangers. Abraham doesn’t just say hi…he bids them to rest…to wash their feet…to eat with him. Abraham treats these strangers like they were God!

Abraham is such a good host…he models for us how to treat all others…not just our friends…but everyone he allows to walk toward us in life. The presence of the Lord still flowing through his heart…he reaches out to them with the love he was just shown by God. Maybe the recent visit placed a little too much love in his heart…and he had to give some of it away. He races to tell his wife…so she can help prepare the meal for them…and tells her to use the ‘best’ flour…picks out a fatted calf…and places in front of them a meal worthy of God himself.

These strangers turn out to be God’s messengers…angels sent to give Abraham a certain date for the birth of his son. Sarah is even allowed to overhear the message they give to him from the tent door…her laughter at their revelation is a mixture of pure joy and the wonder of God’s ability to do supernaturally what she knows her body is incapable of doing on its own. I know we are not suppose to laugh at God’s divine will for our lives…but if God told me I was going to be a mom at 53…I can just imagine what Sarah was thinking at 90!

We are reminded in Hebrews 13:2 how important it is to show this kind of hospitality to all people…it reads…“Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.” Many have said to be careful around strangers these days…we live in a scary world…and yes…all of those people that beg on the street…hold up signs of need by the side of the road…or approach us for money on the sidewalk…are not angels.  But one of them might be…and you will not recognize them until they speak the message that God sent them to give you…like the ones that spoke to Abraham. I sure do not want to miss the blessing they were sent to give me…and that blessing far outweighs any danger the world has me thinking I might place myself in.

Father…help me to be kind…no not just kind…but be hospitable to the point that I treat all who you send to me as family…that I invite into my home for rest…for washing their feet…for a meal to give them nourishment and energy for the task you placed them on the Earth to do.  Help me to get past what they might be wearing….how clean they might be…and look deep into their heart and see the love that you have placed there….or….see the emptiness that your love can fill like no other. Give me eyes to see the hurt that placed them in this situation…and discernment to know how to help them best.  Give me a heart to love all people…all people….not just the ones I choose. Amen.

Names

Genesis 17:5-6 and 5-17 -  No longer shall your name be Abram, but your name shall be Abraham; for I have made you the father of a multitude of nations.  I will make you exceedingly fruitful; and I will make nations of you, and kings shall come forth from you. …… And God said to Abraham, "As for Sar'ai your wife, you shall not call her name Sar'ai, but Sarah shall be her name. I will bless her, and moreover I will give you a son by her; I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of peoples shall come from her."  Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed, and said to himself, "Shall a child be born to a man who is a hundred years old? Shall Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?" 

Our names are more important than you may think.  They are more than just a gathering of letters…pronounced just the way our parents intended.   Our parents chose that name especially for us…sometimes with great thought…sometimes with humor I really don’t understand…and sometimes with wisdom…because the consulted the father.  Sometimes we are very lucky…like me…and we receive a name that we love….because we were given as a present the name of a respected and loved family member…like my aunt Barbara Esther.

Sometimes….God has such a special task or mission for us that the earthly name our parents gave us needs to be changed….to a name that has authority…a name that has been lengthened to show God’s will being carried out in our lives. God begins this curious practice with the changing of Abram and Sarai’s names… his chosen vessels…to show his authority to be in total control of their lives…to show how he can transform what we used to be…into what he needs us to be. And so Abram stops being the ‘exalted one’ that God had promised a son…and becomes Abraham …the ‘father of nations.’  And Sari gets to drop that label of barrenness…that curse of the world that said she was unworthy to bare children as God changes her name to Sarah…’princess’ and wife…the woman God chose to bare the child he told them to name Isaac …the child that would fulfill the promise of God.

And so life is enriched and blessed and the two people who laugh at the thought of God’s crazy plan to make an elderly couple parents….who have tried to weld together an Earthly way to fulfill a promise they received…finally end their waiting.  They have believed all along…but made the mistake of trying to fit God into an Earthly window.  They forgot the supernatural powers of the Lord to create a beautiful world….to create life from dust…and to destroy it again with one command from his mouth. They forgot that God was waiting for his perfect time...to bring about the great plan of salvation…so he could finally give everyone the opportunity to know him…and love him….and obey his law. 

Some of us are lucky enough to be born with the name God intended all along.  He gives our parents the perfect name for  us…and then spends countless days…organizing our lives to mold us into what he wants us to be. He uses each failure…each mistake…each doubt…and each squeal of joy to sculpt us on his master potter’s wheel.  Like Isaac…our names were chosen by God and someday we will be a great vessel…chosen to do God’s great work.

Father….thank you for your great gift of life…and the name you placed in my parents mind for me. Help me Lord to grasp every moment of existence you grant to me…and seek to find the task you have placed me on this Earth for. I thank you for the name you gave to me so long ago…help me to see the importance of that choice…help me to see the meaning of every letter…help me to grasp the task you have planned for me.  Help me to wait on you to work your plan…no matter how long…no matter how hard.  Amen.