Isaiah 57:1-2- The righteous perish, and no one
ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one
understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.
Those who walk uprightly
enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death.
Isaiah gives us just a glimpse at one reason that good
people might be taken away from us…in our human perspective …way too soon. He says
that one reason might be that God wants to spare them the evil that might exist
around them in the future. God allows him to remind us that death brings a
peace that we can never know here on earth.
I am guilty of asking God why he took a loved one too soon
from my life. I question in my heart many times a day why he took the best gift
he ever granted from me so quickly from my life. I admit that it is very hard
to understand….even harder to accept that God wanted to spare Mitchell some
sort of evil that was coming…but needed me to stay here longer.
Perhaps it is our need for human companionship…human touch…that
keeps us from embracing the idea that God took someone we love…but left us
here. For me…it manifests itself in a
sort of jealousy….a longing to join them….even an anticipation of when he might
call me home too.
One side of my heart tells me it’s not time yet…that I still
have work to do. I have three children and a granddaughter that still need their mother’s/nana’s touch….financial
support….prayers. The other longs for the peace that Isaiah talks about…a peace
I will never feel as long as I live on earth.
Perhaps it is just another way that selfishness can creep up
and take over your thoughts….but it is the peace of God that helps me shut out
the selfish thoughts and move forward.
For if I allowed the thoughts of joining not just Mitchell…but all my
family members that have been called home to heaven… to take over...it only
brings pain….and depression. Perhaps it is what causes some to spiral
completely into suicidal thoughts if they let it take completely over both
sides of their heart.
Paul reminded us in Philippians 4:7 how important it is to turn
all thoughts of doubt over to God in prayer ….to just let God do the thinking for
us. He said… “Be anxious for nothing,
but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your
requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all
comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
That’s how I get through the really bad moments….the times
that I miss him the most. I pray…and ask
God to help me accept…for I know my heart will never understand
completely. I ask God to reveal a tidbit
of his purpose for me…and what I need to do to complete the job he placed me
here to do. I try to think about the fact that someone here on earth still
needs me to do something for them…the way he did so much for those around him.
Father….thank you for the fresh tears that remind me how
very much I loved and cherished the gift you gave me in Mitchell. Thank you for
letting me hang out with him for even the short time you allowed…so that he
could help me feel loved after the divorce you allowed to happen in my first
marriage. Help me to use the memories of
that wonderful healing relationship to power thoughts of peace. Help me to place all the memories and sadness
in your hands so you can use it somehow to help others who have to walk the
same path of pain and loss. Amen.
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