1 Chronicles 8:8-13 - Sons were born to Shaharaim in Moab after he
had divorced his wives Hushim and Baara. By his wife Hodesh he had Jobab, Zibia, Mesha,
Malcam, Jeuz, Sakia and Mirmah. These
were his sons, heads of families. By
Hushim he had Abitub and Elpaal. The
sons of Elpaal: Eber, Misham, Shemed (who built Ono and Lod with
its surrounding villages), and Beriah
and Shema, who were heads of families of those living in Aijalon
and who drove out the inhabitants of Gath.
The tribe of Benjamin must have been important….for the
genealogy of this tribe takes an entire chapter. Tucked away in the names of
the Benjamites are the names of Bela…his first born…Saul…the first king of
Israel…and his unselfish son Jonathan…who recognized God’s calling on David’s
life…and gave up his right to the throne. But there is also a woman’s name
tucked away in this chapter…who must have hurt from the stresses of divorce…but
was still used of God to bring children into the world that achieved great things.
The word divorce hit my heart as soon as I read it…I kept
trying to ignore it…but God kept bringing my attention to these verses. Other
verses in the Bible tell us how wrong it is…how much God hates it…but these verses
simply list it as something that happened…God neither condoning nor approving
of Shaharaim’s actions.
It is complicated….what divorce does to the soul of a
woman. God allows it…for reasons unknown…just
like he allowed it for Hushim. God hates
it…and hates the way it destroys the lives of families…models for children that
love can be disposable. I hate every day
that I made the decision to give up on my first marriage of thirty years… knowing
deep in my heart that God was very disappointed in me the day I drove away from
that marriage.
But this scripture reminds me that God’s love overcomes the
hurt of divorce…even blesses us despite the actions we take that cause ourselves
such deep hurt. Hushim was even listed
in the genealogy of the tribe of Benjamin…her children important enough to be
named in this great book. That means my
life is important to God despite the choice I made to divorce….the future can
still hold great promises…my life can still have meaning and purpose.
The trick is to accept what you did…ask God to forgive you…forgive
anyone who hurt you…then move on with your life. You must also ask God to repair the damage you
did to your family…help them to forgive you for walking out on the commitment
you made to their father…and then trust God to work a plan to heal all
involved. God doesn’t hold grudges…that is what us humans do best. God forgives and forgets…and builds around us
a new life…that he can use to help others come to know his great love.
Thank you father that you love me in spite of the wrong
choices I have made in life. Thank you
for this story that reminds me that Life did not stop the day I signed divorced
papers. Thank you for your forgiveness
that allows you to build me into a new person….that can forgive and love in
ways she never knew were possible. Help
me to always remember that you are working a plan to heal the damage I did to
my children… and that one day you will make them into something great. Give me
a new dose of courage and faith to wait on you to work your love into their lives.
Amen.
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