Job 16:2-5 - "I
have heard all this before. What miserable comforters you are! Won't you ever stop your flow of foolish
words? What have I said that makes you speak so endlessly? I could say the same things if you were in my
place. I could spout off my criticisms against you and shake my head at you. But that's not what I would do. I would speak
in a way that helps you. I would try to take away your grief.
Job had listened to the same advice twice now…their
accusations and judgment brought him no comfort. He just wanted them to be quiet…if they were not
going to support him and try to make him feel better. Deep down he knew that he
had done nothing to provoke such harshness form his friends or God. The words of
his friends stirred a deep longing in his heart for God…but he was afraid that
God hated him now.
Job’s advice to those of us that go to comfort others in
loss and tragedy has two don’ts….and two do’s. Don’t talk for the sake of
talking. Sometimes words can be
exchanged for a tender hug…a shared tear….or a smile of understanding. Don’t sermonize. God will do the judging later….they just need
to know you love them…and will be there through the pain. Do put yourself in their place. Wear their shoes just long enough to empathize
with what they are going through. Do offer help and encouragement. And that does not always mean a tray of food
or a cake the first few days. That means
calling and checking on them….weeks and months after the event has passed.
It is true that the best comforters are those that have been
through the same pain. God teaches us
with our own pain how to best help others.
That is why Jesus is the best comforter we can find. He suffered more agony and pain than anyone
ever will…and triumphed over death. He
walked in our shoes…and even sent us the Holy Spirit to remind us of all the
advice he gave us while he was here. John
14:26 says…. “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my
name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I
have said to you.” What a great reminder to me that all the help I need is just
a request away…one prayer to the holy father and all I need is there waiting.
Father…thank you for the reminder that you are all that I need
when I am hurting. Thank you for the
pain that has helped to teach me how to help others. Show me how to use Job’s
advice …and be the kind of friend that supports and helps those that are going
through pain and trials. Help me
remember to pray and invite the Holy Spirit to come with me…and show me what to
do. Amen.
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