Climb Up In God's Lap

Job 7:1-4 - "Is this not the struggle of all humanity? A person's life is long and hard, like that of a hired hand,  like a worker who longs for the day to end, like a servant waiting to be paid.  I, too, have been assigned months of futility, long and weary nights of misery.  When I go to bed, I think, 'When will it be morning?' But the night drags on, and I toss till dawn.

 

Job had spent some time ranting about the heaviness of his burden.  He was weary from the physical torment of the infected boils and how they prevented him from resting in sleep. He realized that he was not alone in his pain…that he was not the only one to suffer such hard times…not the first to toss and turn in the night with pain and worry…but it did not help him understand why he had been chosen to carry such a heavy burden.

 

He turned his voice from his friend for a moment…and directed his questions directly to God. He questioned God from the deep bitterness of his pain….and the confusion he felt from his once confident heart.  He longed for death once more…and is even beginning to doubt his righteousness…asking God in verse 20… “if I have sinned….please tell me what it was.” He knew that he had offered the sacrifices needed for God to pardon him…and was confused that God had not.

 

I ‘ve been there…right with Job’s frame of mind. I beat the wall of that hospital hallway….and cried out no…no….no….it’s not fair!  I questioned why God would give me such a precious gift ...and take it away only 1 month after we were married. In my selfishness…and pure joy from the gift God had given me….I cried out to God in disbelief that I deserved such great pain and loss. And I bet I am not alone…I bet all who read this post could comment …and share their moment of deepest grief…incredulous that God would even ask us to endure such harsh times.  Like Job…we have called out to God for answers…and have come up empty.

 

We come dangerously close to blaming God for our pain….and becoming so bitter that we can’t feel his love in our wounded heart any more.  Job came close to blaming God…but instead…he just asked why…one more time…and wanted to know if maybe he had sinned in some way that caused it. He climbed up in God’s lap…looked right in his face…and ask him the hard questions. Then he stayed there in the silence of God’s arms…and let him embrace him through the remainder of his pain.

 

That’s what I do every day…I climb up in God’s lap every night and let him read me a new bedtime story.  Then I talk with him about my day…share my pains and joys…and close my eyes while his arms are still wrapped around me tight.  When my eyes open in the morning…and sometimes a couple of times during the night…he is still holding me.  We go to the computer together …and we process that story he told me the night before. He helps me understand …or just accept and wait….like Job. We must all find our strength to go on in deep sorrow and pain from holding the father’s hand. Job wanted to give up….but instead he ask God to help him understand.

 

Father…thank you for reminding me that you are always waiting to hear from me.  Thank you for always having room in your lap for me to come and sit.  Thank you for always listening to every detail of my pain…even though you already knew how I felt.  There’s no place that I would rather be…than here in your love…set a new fire in my soul…to always run to you with all my pain...and let you wrap your arms around me when it is too much for my human heart to bear…until the tears subside …and you can help me accept…even when I don’t understand.  Amen.

 

PS...This song was placed in my spirit this morning! Love it when God uses friends like Janice Baker. Enjoy.. http://youtu.be/-Jzqq4B8H2Q